I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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