Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
