May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
