angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
