Pappa wants mamma naked
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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