I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
