My cat gives me a boner
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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