He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
