would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
