My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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