Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously