I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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