it wasn't lemon gatorade
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.