I can tuck mytits in my pants
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
17 People Who Prepared For Spring Break The Right Way
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy