Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
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He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
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I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password