I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck