Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
