Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?

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  (914): explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts? http://tfl.nu/duu8
  Replies (15) Good night (3943) Bad night (815)
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  (619): View more from California

  I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.

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  (619): I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person. http://tfl.nu/uqdv
  Replies (54) Good night (1761) Bad night (5839)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd

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  (815): The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd http://tfl.nu/v8gr
  Replies (7) Good night (2903) Bad night (989)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump

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  (256): she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump http://tfl.nu/on8v
  Replies (12) Good night (5822) Bad night (923)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.

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  (203): There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper. http://tfl.nu/r5h8
  Replies (11) Good night (3073) Bad night (1776)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.

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  (240): When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again. http://tfl.nu/1y07
  Replies (24) Good night (7274) Bad night (1018)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country

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  (703): Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country http://tfl.nu/u6pi
  Replies (27) Good night (4546) Bad night (785)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.

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  (303): Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit. http://tfl.nu/weri
  Replies (1) Good night (472) Bad night (1393)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.

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  (336): I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years. http://tfl.nu/1nws
  Replies (18) Good night (1364) Bad night (862)
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  (347): View more from New York

  i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled

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  (347): i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled http://tfl.nu/2qi2
  Replies (6) Good night (492) Bad night (1115)
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  (718): View more from New York

  If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go

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  (718): If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go http://tfl.nu/k79y
  Replies (9) Good night (1610) Bad night (599)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.

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  (205): So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well. http://tfl.nu/tmpt
  Replies (1) Good night (445) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.

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  (405): I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome. http://tfl.nu/n5tl
  Replies (0) Good night (608) Bad night (254)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers

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  (+44): I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers http://tfl.nu/zya2
  Replies (4) Good night (584) Bad night (223)
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  (716): View more from New York

  He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.

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  (716): He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do. http://tfl.nu/0qz8
  Replies (3) Good night (458) Bad night (371)

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