we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
