yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
