i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
