Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
handjob tips. give me some.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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