How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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