its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
When are your genitals available?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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