what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
