You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You were trust falling into bushes
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
