i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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