Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize