you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
