I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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