batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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