i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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