The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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