Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
she peed on how many people?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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