Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
