There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
