He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
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