I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
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