billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Sext me about skeletons
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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