Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
