My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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