id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
