Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
