I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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