yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
