You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
