Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
