Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Randomize
