If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
