I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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