I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
