Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
