And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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