my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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