the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
