I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
