trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She even gives head with a lisp.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
