i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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