You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
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He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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