She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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