well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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