Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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