Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
it's great music for shaving your balls
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
