Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
