Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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