We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
