If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize