Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
