He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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